I was sitting in the bathtub, as I often do when reflecting, and I came to the conclusion that in order to preserve relationships or build them even stronger, we could be sensitive to what that person is willing to trade, in terms of money, time, things, energy, or advice.
A personal relationship floated up to my awareness concerning this woman said to me once, “Wow, thanks. You really didn’t have to do that. That was nice of you.”, with a big smile on her face.
As money became tighter in my life, though, I found myself moving into business mode with her: I wanted to make sure she paid me my money’s worth – and forgot about the effect that that might have on our relationship.
I’m going to be a businessman – there’s no doubt in my mind about that. However, do I want to be the type of businessman who people are jazzed about doing business and being personal with; or do I want to be the kind of guy people shy away from because of my lack of caring and consideration to where they are in life or what they might be going through at the moment?
If I had a choice, and I believe that I do – I would choose the guy who people instinctively WANT to be around; the one that they call up and ask to visit, just for the hell of it. That’s the guy I want to be.
The relationships that I build between myself and others needs to take priority in my life, irrespective of money.
Now, what I’m NOT saying, is that money isn’t important. It is. It’s crucial in the society that we live in. But, its importance should never overshadow the friendships and the warmth and loyalty that I want to attract. Ever.
After reviewing how my actions appeared to be affecting the vibe between us…I was ready to try something else:
And this is when I came up with this great thought:
What if I if I was willing to receive what people were willing and able to give; and stopped demanding that I receive payment in a certain way? What I’m getting at here, is that money is often the medium of easiest exchange: I do this or that for you; or give you this or that – and in exchange you give me some money, which I will later use to trade in for some other thing that I want, right?
Instead, if I could learn to recognize what someone is capable of giving and WANTS to give me, and was adept enough at exchange and self aware enough to figure out what I NEEDED; and found some way of making those two things work in harmony. – that would be amazing! That would totally transform the relationship’s dynamic with every single person I met, wouldn’t it?
Was this relevant to you? If so, please leave a comment or a short little story of how you might have applied this in your life. Because I don’t just write to share my thoughts; but to affect change, as well.
David Lee Madison, Jr.
~Nate – street name ,
~KnavetheMage on Twitter
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Thursday, December 5, 2013 – 4:38